Publishing A Paper=Clueless

After sending off a proposal for a conference, I decided to tackle another thing on my break to-do list and revise a paper for publication.  Then I realized that I have never done this before.

Wow, I have never done this before.  In my mind it seems so easy, but when the paper is in front of me I am at a loss.  I made the changes my professor suggested...and now I don't know what to do next.  I do, however, know these things:

• I need to cut out about 2,000 words.  Damn.
• I need to write up a 500 word proposal. Ugh.

So, the first thing is that 2,000 words is a lot of damn words!  I had already cut this paper down a lot when I turned it in for class, so to cut another 2,000 words is like cutting off my arm.  It hurts and I don't want to do it.  That is some serious rewording and/or even elimination of an argument or example.  Of course I will have to talk to my professor about this but it would be nice to have some sort of plan in my head.  Also, it is break, my professor is out of town, and the proposal is due kind of soon. 

Also, the proposal?  I am awful, just absolutely awful, at explaining my arguments and research.  Obviously, this is a skill I need to develop ASAP.  Last night I pretended like I was on the job market now and spent some time reading interview tips from various bloggers.  Tenured Radical wrote that so many applicants miss the easiest question of them all: explain your dissertation.  I do not want to be one of those people.  In any case, I have to write this proposal and that is not my strength. 

The one lucky thing is that there is a specific journal with a specific CFP that my paper addresses.  This gives me something to tailor the proposal to and maybe can even direct my editing of the paper.  I'm just a little worried because this paper reads so much like a class paper to me, and not like a journal article.  I'm a wee bit nervous.

So, getting a paper published = a clueless me

Oh no. Carolers.

You know what is really awkward?  Carolers at your doorstep. 



I've never had to experience this until last night.  There was a knock on the door and I, expecting someone else, threw it open without a care in the world.  Cue "Jingle Bell Rock."  I think the first words out of my mouth were, "Oh no.  It's carolers."

There were about five of them and they were not your average Christmas time singers.  They were young, like late teens/early 20s.  They weren't dressed in Christmas gear.  They were also not great singers.  I think my fifth grade class rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock" was more in tune than this group last night.  But they did have little cue cards that they were singing off of. 

Shit.  Carolers.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my husband duck into the back room to avoid the singing strangers at the front door.  Then I heard him call out, "They want money."  Yes, I know that, but you are still supposed to listen to their song, right?  It's not like a pay and we'll shut up thing.  I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do, as they went through the song.  At that moment, "Jingle Bell Rock" was the longest song in the world.  "They want money!" Again, not helpful.  But now I was starting to second guess myself and thought maybe they would want to see that I intended on paying them?  Maybe if they didn't see me with cash they would never stop singing?  So I left them there and went and got my purse.  Looking back, that was probably a weird thing to do as it left these people with no one to sing to. 

After an eternity, the song ended.  I think I applauded.  I stepped outside in my socks and gave them some cash and asked why they were doing this.  Apparently they were trying to raise some money for next semester's books and, and I quote, "To spread some holiday cheer." 

When it was all over, my husband, who was carefully hidden away this entire time, said, "I didn't know if you would know to give them money."  I am constantly amazed at how stupid my husband must think I am.  Oh well.  He feels the same way about me (that I must think he is stupid, not that he thinks I am stupid).     

Happy Holidays!  May no carolers appear on your doorstep (unless you like that kind of thing)!

Food Resolution

I'm taking a break from school and am thinking about food. 

Sometimes I think that my husband and I live like frat boys.  We have a nice home but suck at keeping it up.  We are insanely lazy.  There are unfinished projects from over a year ago that would probably take an hour or so to complete, but we just don't do them. 

However, what really seems to get to people is our eating habits.  I just got back from the grocery store and I think it was my first shopping trip in three months.  Husband is usually pretty good at picking up milk or bread when we need it, but that has been about it.  We usually do not make dinner and instead get carry-out probably four nights a week.  The other day I asked a friend if he eats a "real" dinner ever night.  He looked at me like I was crazy.

Let me go over some of our food issues.  Husband is a very picky eater (he may say he's not but, holy shit, he is).  He doesn't like any tomato-based sauces, anything spicy, "a lot" of melted cheese, many veggies (and any that are cooked), beans, condiments...basically, I say he doesn't really like a lot of flavor.  He is perfectly happy eating the same things day in and day out.  One of his favorite things in the world is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He eats more PB&J sandwiches than an entire kindergarten class in a year.  He is also a food brand loyalist.  It has to be a particular peanut butter, jelly, bread, Ranch dressing, syrup, etc. 

My issue is that I don't eat meat.  I eat seafood, but no meat.  Husband loves meat.  I love those saucy, cheesy things that he isn't too keen on. 

Together we are lazy and would rather have someone else make us something than do it ourselves.  But we want to change.  We really do.  We spend too much money on going out to eat, not to mention the calories.  So here is my resolution: eat better and at home.  We start tonight with our standby meal that we both enjoy: salmon and fresh green beans.  Oh, and a salad because I accidentally bought salad things not knowing that we already have salad things so now we have twice the...salad things.  I'm hoping that since I have this winter break that I can get in the habit of making dinner and we'll see what happens when next semester starts up.

In more fun food news, I am making mulled wine for a holiday party tomorrow.  I've made a pretty excellent hard cider before, but never mulled wine.  I'm a bit nervous; I've never had mulled wine before so it sounds strange to me, but we'll see how it goes. 

Braggy McBraggenpants

So, my last and final paper ever for a course?  I did really, really well on it.  So well that I feel the need to take to my blog and brag.  My professor, who I consider a pretty difficult and no-nonsense grader, used some great adjectives for my paper and said it was definitely publishable!  Excuse my excitement, but woohoo!  I guess that means I have to take Grad Director's advice and not waste any time this holiday break.

Unfortunately, the rest of my class didn't do so well.  The professor sent out an email to the class to tell us that papers were graded and other admin details.  The email continues to say basically, "Class was great, wasn't it?  Too bad a lot of your papers weren't."  Seriously.  That's kind of inappropriate, isn't it?   

Anyways, my checklist for break looks like this:

1.  Write up a conference proposal.  There is one other paper that this same professor also said is publishable, but I've been sitting on it for awhile.  I haven't had the time yet to revise it for publication, but there is an international conference next year that would be amazing.  The proposal is due early next year, but I would really like to kick it out before we ring in 2011.  However, I am having some trouble writing it.  I think I have summarized the paper nicely, but I haven't used any of the key words that were in the CFP.  I would really like to do that to tie the paper more obviously to the theme of the conference.

2.  Develop a blog for my composition class.  The University likes to use blogs for the first year composition classes and I need to get mine up and running. 

3. Read for qualifying exams.  Enough said.   

4.  Revise paper(s) for publication.  Again, enough said. 

That is my break, academically speaking.  It doesn't sound too bad, especially with a latte or two (or Schnapps, as previous commentators suggest).  Today, however, there is one big thing on my list: shovel the snow.  My husband did it yesterday and I promised to do it today.  Hopefully, there won't be a ton of snow during my break to shovel. 

Update: Administration Woes

Finally, some answers in the (not so) dramatic standoff with my Grad Director. 

Things were about to get dirty.  I was prepared to go stand outside of the GD's office until someone, anyone would talk to me.  Before that happened, I mentioned to my Advisor that GD was not responding to my emails and that the next day I was marching down to the offices to find someone to talk to me.  Well unbeknown to me, Advisor sent an email to GD's second-in-command and the next morning I had an email from GD inviting me down to the office to talk.

In person, GD is a really nice, friendly, helpful person, so I don't know what is up with the emails.  I guess GD is just not an email person, which is kind of silly because he/she is also really busy and you would think that a simple email can save some time over a meeting.  Whatever.  I basically learned that there was one confusing thing that could have easily been fixed, but wasn't, so now I'm a few weeks behind but this is not really going to affect anything.  I am still expected to take my qualifying exams next semester even though I don't have a committee or approved book list yet.  Oh, there are going to be some fun times coming up! (That was said in my most sarcastic voice.  I figured you knew that). 

When GD mentioned the email sent by Advisor, I think I made a face like "oh, didn't know that was done!  Sorry!" GD kind of laughed and was like, "It is great.  Advisor is very good at taking care and fighting for students, and that is exactly what a good advisor does.  You want people like that on your team."  Indeed, I do.

Also, I didn't even realize this, but I am done with classes.  I have no more coursework for this degree.  I turned in my final paper this week that is tied to a course.  What?!  I didn't even realize this was happening until someone else mentioned it.  I celebrated with a peppermint mocha. 

I was really excited about this progress yesterday and my post would have been lively and fun, but I just encountered a buzz kill via family issues.  I haven't talked about such things on this blog as I don't know if it is the place to do so.  Let's just say that I hate that I have become that adult who now hates holidays. 
  
To recap: school = good, if a bit stressful  
                family = really stressful, if a bit bad

End of Semester Clusterfuck

Let me apologize upfront about the whining nature of this post.  It is that time of the semester when everything comes together in one big clusterfuck.

Per Dr. Koshary's advice last post, I am attempting to get on these administration problems and not leave them to chance.  I emailed my Grad Director again this past Monday saying as politely as I could, "Hey, what's up?  Remember when I asked you about all those things?  What's going on with that?"  No response.  None.  I have never had trouble with emailing him/her before, so I don't know what to do.  I know Dr. K advise that I drop by his/her office, but the office is in this labyrinth protected by receptionists and whatnot.   Trying to set up an appointment to see him/her is nearly impossible, especially at this time in the semester.  I guess I can just go sit outside of the office until he/she agrees to see me, but that seems a little desperate.  A phone call?  Another email?  A carrier pigeon? 

To push my anxiety level even further, the Grad Director sent us all an email (so I know that he/she has been in his/her email account) to basically say, "Remember that you should not waste a single minute on anything else but getting published.  Have a nice end of the semester." 

And final seminar papers are due veerrrrryyyy soon.  I am freaking out about one because though I have pages and pages, there does not seem to be a very cogent argument.  This is a problem.  Usually I can write through this issue and discover an argument, but right now the paper seems to be a collection of rambling paragraphs and explanation of quotes.  Ugh.  And I'm supposed to go to a bachelorette party this weekend.  I have no idea what I said yes to this months ago knowing how close to the end of the semester it is.  And it's one of those annoying functions where it is supposed to be an all night affair and is far away enough that it is pretty pointless to drive all the way their for an hour or whatever and drive all the way home.  I'm thinking of skipping it.  That would be the responsible thing to do.  Of course, I will feel incredibly guilty, but I will also feel incredibly guilty knowing that this paper is just sitting on my computer at home.

I'm also feeling pretty guilty for being the worst blogger recently.  I have not been keeping up with it or reading other blogs, and I'm feeling more guilty than I should about this.

And I'm annoyed with how many times I'm using "and" in this post, but this is the way of the mind right now. 

I also just ate a sandwich with expired mayonnaise.  I think I'll be fine.  It expired in October, but everything else seemed fine.  I'll be fine, right?